I will pick this story up from a somewhat foggy, foggy as in mentally foggy, night out in Vegas when we were scheduled to trek to California in the morning. It was around 2 a.m. and for whatever reason, could have had something to do with Tequila shots, we decided we would head out to California right then and there. We took a cab back to Mark’s apartment where we tried to sober up with some coffee and pack our stuff.
Sean must have lost a bet somehow, or been the last one to shout ” Call not driving!” It was a stupid saying we used and the last one to call it out was the one who had to do it. The Gang had many rules like this. We had “Doorknob” as well. It was a game where if you farted and someone called “doorknob” before you said “safety” you became free game for everyone to punch you until you touched a doorknob. It was crude and immature, however it was a hell of a lot of fun for young guys. There was also rules about golden seats and calling shotgun they were pretty elaborate, but I digress. Back to the story at hand.
Somewhere just outside Barstow, in the middle of the Mojave desert, Sean got very tired and could not continue driving so Mark relieved him and took over the wheel. The switching of drivers took place on the side of the road and woke us all from our slumbers. The sun was just creeping up to reveal the arid landscape in which we had been driving through for the last few hours and once again I felt as if I were on a different planet.
I remember winding down through the San Fernando valley through the fog eventually emerging to bright sunny southern California skies. Jason had an aunt and uncle in Orange County that were allowing us to stay over for the weekend and we got to their home around 11:00 a.m. We made our introductions and immediately got dressed to hit the Beaches. For some reason, which I, nor anyone else can recollect, we drove all the way down to Mission Beach near San Diego to play volleyball instead of going just a few minutes to Laguna Beach.
We played volleyball for a few hours and then afterwards we realized Mexico was less than an hour away where the legal drinking age was only 18. It beckoned us, especially Sean since he is a tequila connoisseur. Well the truth be known he hates tequila but I always made him drink way too much of it when we drank together. At times to excess. Still to this day Sean knows whenever we get together there WILL be a shot of tequila involved.
The call of Mexico got the best of us and we unanimously voted to head straight down there. We had not taken our luggage into his aunt and uncle’s house so we had clothes to change into. Unfortunately we had nowhere to change so we did it right there in the parking garage.
Just on the American side of the border we parked the Omni, walked across to Mexico and caught a cab to Tiajuana. Once in the cab we set off an a wilder ride through traffic being offered an invitation to a “donkey show.” Not knowing what that was exactly, and quite frankly the sound of it scared us we politely declined. I’m not sure when we actually found out what the “donkey show” was, but I will not be repeating what it is on this blog. Put it this way, it was sounded even scarier than we imagined.
We were like kids in a candy store once we stepped out of the cab looking at all the bars lining the streets. And it was completely legal for us to drink at anyone of them. I think we had to pinch Sean to let him know he wasn’t dreaming. The first bar we went into was the one closest to where we were.
Mark seems to insist that it was Tilly’s on 5th Avenue. All I remember from that place was the tequila slammers the staff there inflicted on people :) The first to get one was Jason because he headed to the restroom as soon as we got in there and we saw a person at the table get slammed and knew we had to have to get Jason. So we grabbed one of the waitresses and told her our plan.
Jason made his way back to our table and sat down. Almost instantly he was grabbed, and one waitress forced his head back while another poured tequila and lime into his mouth straight from the bottle. When he could take no more than stopped pouring, put a towel over his mouth and shook his head from side to side all while both of the staff members wailed on whistles. It was quite chaotic and fun.
Sean was busting at the seams to get it done to me. Not really but he knew it was coming and was up for challenge. “Are you ready” I asked Sean. Not sure what he answered but sure it was something like “bring it on.” We got the staff’s attention and pointed to Sean. Over they came and began the ritual. As they were pouring the tequila we started to chant “Sean. Sean. Sean.” He just kept drinking. Soon people around us began chanting with us. “Sean. Sean. Sean.” Finally they stopped pouring and shook Sean around. We stayed a bit longer and did not see anyone drink a slammer like Sean did. We were ready to leave, but Sean needed a bit to compose himself. I guess that one drink caught up to him. What a lightweight :)
The next place we went into was an authentic Mexican strip club. Skippy had begged us, and we figured why not. But upon entering we had that question of why not answered. Now I do not mean to offend anyone but the dancer that was on stage, should not have been up there. Let’s just say she was a little old, a little husky and a little unattractive. Not to mention the fact that we were the only Americans in the place. I have never drank two drinks faster than I did there. It was a two drink minimum, and we were afraid of the consequences if we did not comply.
Once out we stumbled to the Safari Club, or so we believe as things are quite hazy from this point on for all of us. We do know that we met a few girls at the club and danced with them for a while. The bars we all now closing and it was time to head back across the border. I do know that we indulged in some bacon-wrapped hotdogs, and somehow survived.
Our journey back to the border had us retracing our path which included going back by the strip club we had visited earlier. This is where the night almost went really wrong.
Skippy wanted to go back in, he was convinced that the girls were going to be hot now. We knew better and did not want to chance it. But Skippy insisted we go in. Jason and I began to
argue with Skip, and it got kinda loud because Skippy is quite stubborn, especially drunk. Within seconds of raising our voices out there on the street, we were surrounding by Policia.
Instantly our demeanors changed. We knew we had to convince them we were friends and were just debating amongst each other, not fighting. NOT fighting. All the while the stories about Americans being held for what basically amounts to extortion was running through my head. I barely had any cash any way so not sure what would happen to us in a Mexican Jail. I think I had broken into an instant sweat. They were pretty reluctant at first then and gave us a harsh look of as if to give us a warning and just dispersed back into the shadows. We dodged a bullet.
After that brush with the law we decided that I would be the designated driver and we would find a late night bar to hang out in while I sobered up more, and they just got drunker :) While in the next bar we saw the girls from earlier and hung out with them until the bar closed around 4 a.m. They asked us to walk with them over the border and to their car.
The night was winding down and we were never so happy to back on American soil. But now we had a long way to go to get back to Jason’s aunt’s house. Thank god one of the girls lived just 15 minutes from the border and invited us to crash there since her parents were out of town.
I remember driving up through winding mountain roads eventually coming to a peak upon which a very large home was perched. It was her home. She was lucky that we were good guys and not some creeps. I would kill my daughter if she ever did anything like that!
We stayed and slept for a few hours sprawled out across the chairs and couches in the living room before heading out shortly after the sun came up.
And so concludes “Skippy goes to Vegas” and “Sean goes to Tiajuana.” I know there was more that happened that night, but none of us seem to recall it. I did try, because Or sometimes maybe what happens in Vegas AND Tiajuana stays there :)