This subject may be a little out there for some, you can believe what happens to me, or not. Hell sometimes i can barely believe what happens. As most of you know whether you know me or have just read my blog you know I am a prankster. I get great pleasure messing with people. So it is only karmicly fitting that someone mess with me too, like Skippy always says, “what go around comes around” :)
But my nemesis is not someone I can get back. I am not really sure he even exists for that matter. My entire life i have lost things. I do not know how i do it sometimes. I am always pulling what is known as “A Hamilton”. It seems my keys are the worst, with my wallet right behind. This story covers how they both have become lost and found.
Many many years ago my friends and I visited a big old building in Cincinnati where they have several bands playing and vendors set up. One was a palm reader. Trish had sat down to get a reading when the medium turned to me and told me quite matter of factly “You know you have a poltergeist that follows you?” I answered “No, but that sure would explain a lot of things.” I didnt think much of it at first but then unexplained events from recent history popped into my head and got me wondering.
The first incident i recalled was when i locked my keys into my van. I had gone into downtown Cincinnati and parked my van to have lunch with a friend. And since i do loose my keys a lot I started just leaving them in the van hidden and leave the doors unlocked. I did the same that day but upon returning to the van I found the driver’s door locked, so I went to the passenger door and it was locked as well. Then I checked the side door, and sure enough locked as well. But I NEVER lock the back hatch so I went back to it and lifted the handle…LOCKED! What the hell was going on? There I was stranded. So I called my girlfriend (my now ex-wife Deanna) at the time to have her grab the spare key which was sitting on the dresser.
She answered the phone and I told her the dilemma. She too remembered seeing the spare sitting on the dresser, she sat down the phone to go look for it. after several minutes she came back to the phone and told me it wasn’t there anymore. “What? I know it was there this morning, I saw it.” Please check again. She left again and came back with the same answer. “I know I saw it there this morning as well, but it is no longer there,” she said. “Dammit” I yelled. “I know it is there, how can you miss it?” And there it was, a spark for a major fight, and she was not coming to get me. Okay now what do I do? Exactly what McGyver would do. I went into a nearby dept. store and got a clothes hanger and jimmy’ed the lock. I got into the van and drove home.
Upon entering the apartment I went straight into the bedroom to look for the key. And sure enough there it was, right on top in the middle of the dresser, plain as day. Deanna was right behind me and swore it was not there, we got into a small fight again about it.
There is no way she could have missed the key there. I actually am convinced somehow it was not there, she was not stupid nor lying as I first accused her of. I started to think back to what that medium had said, and made it make sense. And ever since then I always just go with the flow when something unexplained happens, because I never know. Maybe i was not meant to get into the van, maybe I was going to get into an accident if I did and what ever force was behind locking the door is more of a guardian angel than a mischievous poltergeist.
The next year or so later another incident happened. Deanna was out of town on this one. I was getting ready to head out for the night and realized my wallet was nowhere to be found I searched everywhere knowing I HAD to have an ID in order to get into the bars my friends and I were headed to. I got so angry as I ran around like a chicken with its head cut off looking under every cushion and pillow. Eventually I gave up. Luckily they believed I was old enough at the bar and let me in.
It wasnt until about a week later when I had to water the plants that sat on a high ledge in the cathedral ceiling that I found my wallet. It was sitting up there behind a fern. Now how in the hell did it get up there??? But, I remained calm and chuckled a bit and pointed into the air. “Good one, you got me that time” I said sarcastically as I imagined I was talking to my infamous poltergeist.
It does make me wonder who my poltergeist would be. A relative? Maybe the one i inherited my antics from perhaps? I may never know, but I think he is still with me and active today. I believe he has had a hand in some of the shoes I have found across the country. Even if not, it is always nice to have someone to blame my irresponsibilty on.